The Life and Love of Allie; Forever in Our Hearts

The Conversation

It was a warm March afternoon in 2010 when the conversation began. 

“Do you think it would be ok if we looked into getting a puppy?” I sheepishly asked my husband. 

I wasn’t necessarily hesitant about asking because I thought he wouldn’t want a dog. It was more so because we had only been married about a year and a half, and we still lived on his parents property while we looked for a house to purchase of our own. Because of that, I wasn’t sure if the timing was right to add to our family. 

“Do you think your parents would mind?” I added. 

His response to the first question was a resounding and enthusiastic, “Yes!” And to my following question he quickly replied, “I’ll ask them tonight! I’m sure they wouldn’t mind at all.” 

He was right. His parents immediately gave joyful permission. 

The hunt was on. 

We settled on looking for a Golden Retriever puppy because we loved the breed, their happy disposition and the way they loved people. It was fun to plan and dream. 

As I prepared my heart and my little tiny home for a puppy to love, I felt an overwhelming sense of happiness bubble up from within me. A quiet sense of peace settled over my spirit. Fresh excitement was being birthed in my heart. Getting toys and bedding filled me with hopeful expectations, as I imagined being able to pour out my love on a beautiful dog that soon would become a huge part of our lives. 

To me this decision was much more than just a fun new adventure to embark on. It was a sense of purpose and an avenue for love to grow and expand. The decision to get a dog made my heart feel light, after feeling heavy for far too many months.

A Puppy to Fill Our Empty Arms 

My husband and I were wed on a beautiful Autumn evening.  We knew we would most likely face infertility issues and those fears were confirmed after our one year anniversary was celebrated and we had not been able to conceive. 

We visited a few doctors after our first year of marriage and they further stated that, “without an act of God,” we would not be able to have children. Good thing for us, we serve a really BIG God! Our God says, “With man, this is impossible. But with God, all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26)

We decided to trust and wait on the Lord for His plan and timing for our children. It was difficult to watch the months pass with a constant ache that lived in my heart. An ache to care for something greater than myself. 

It was that specific ache that sparked the idea of getting a puppy. It was also that ache that started the conversation leading to the, “Yes!” After a year and a half of marriage we would now have a puppy to love. A dog-daughter. We instantly knew she would fill our heart (and our arms) with so much love – and help ease the pain of infertility. 

We didn’t have to look long. After only one failed attempt, we found her. 

In the little town of Sparks, Nevada – just about a two hour drive from where we lived in California – we had found a beautiful litter of Golden Retriever puppies for sale. They told us they only had one girl left and we said without hesitation, “We’ll take her!” 

She was beautiful. The first picture we received of our girl was love at first site. We immediately fell in love and decided to name her Allie. Allison Nichole Haley to be exact. 

The laws in California said that to separate a puppy from its natural mother they had to be eight weeks old. However, the Nevada laws stated only six weeks old. She was five weeks old and five days. 

Off we went with a kennel, a leash and a few toys in tow to get our puppy girl. My mom was happy to drive with my husband and I so that I could sit with Allie on the way home. 

When we all three arrived at the location, we were invited inside and Allie was placed in my arms. She felt as soft as cotton and as light as a pound or two. I then knelt down and set Allie on Larry’s lap. She was the sweetest, softest ball of blonde fluff we had ever seen! We melted. My attempts at communication turned into high pitched squeals of delight as I spoke to her for the very first time. Our girl. She wiggled and squirmed with delighted excitement at meeting us. We had just become doggy parents and our hearts had immediately grown with love. 

On the long ride home I held her in my arms the entire trip. She slept most of the time but when awake, she would nudge my chin with her nose and lick my face. She was an absolute angel. 

As we arrived home, back at my in-laws, we saw them waiting to greet us. Everyone fell in love with tiny baby Allie. There are not many things in this life that are better than an itty bitty puppy! We all agreed she was pure perfection. 

The next day we had all of our family and friends come over to meet Allie. As the movie, “Lady and the Tramp” played on our DVD player, many people cycled through our little living quarters – bringing new toys and giving lots of love and advice. It was a day I’ll never forget. So much joy was felt. 

Those first few days and nights, Allie blended seamlessly into our home and lives. She made us a family and integrated without issue. She never cried, whimpered or caused a fuss. Allie was happy, full of playfulness and bounced around like a fluffy bunny! She found her tiny baby bark and we learned her favorite game was tug-of-war. 

Our Growing Girl 

Allie grew quickly and so did her curiosity. She was anxious to please us and do whatever we asked of her. She potty trained without any hesitation and slept quietly in her kennel at night. She played hard for short bursts of time before falling fast asleep next to her toys. Lots of naps and growth spurts happened within those first few months. She spent her first spring, summer and fall seasons lengthening and stretching at what seemed like super speed. 

Just two months before Allie’s first birthday we moved into our new home. She was thrilled with the bigger living space and met every transition without an issues – yet returning back to Grandma & Grandpa Haley’s was always her favorite car ride and place to visit. 

We all settled into our new home with ease and Allie’s first birthday was celebrated. We documented the day on video, featuring her going to the pet store to pick out a new birthday toy. Oh, the excitement in her eyes! 

For Allie’s second birthday, we gave her a bubble machine and she was so hilarious when jumping, biting and chasing the bubbles that we made sure each spring season to buy her a new one.  She loved the bubble machines so much she would wear them out. 

Allie brought endless amounts of joy and laughter into our home. She rode with us wherever we went and when the weather permitted she would wait patiently in the van for us to finish whatever task we were out doing. She was a constant companion on grocery trips, errands and even rode to church with us often. She would enjoy the after-church crowd who would gather at times to give her love as service let out. 

On one particular outing to Lowe’s she was greeted by a dog-loving employee who gave her a kid sized Lowe’s apron and made a name tag for her. The employee told us she called her own dog-daughter her “doghter” and we adopted the term from them on – using it often. Allie proudly wore her Lowe’s apron when we would take trips back to her favorite hardware store. 

Along the journey of life she developed many nicknames. Allie-Bear was the most commonly used. She brought us continuous joy, filled our rooms with loud barking and coated our clothes in fluffy dog hair. 

Allie-Bear loved to dress up. Well…maybe that’s not the whole truth. I guess I should say I loved dressing her up. When Halloween rolled around, Allie would allow me to pick her costume out (isn’t that nice of her?) and then Larry and I would coordinate our costumes around what she was wearing that year. 

One year we were all pirates. Another year she was a lion, I was a tiger and Larry was a bear. Some of my favorite costumes of ours were the minions, police officers, super heroes and Sesame Street characters. She loved the attention she would receive when wearing her costume. We had a Halloween party every year and she would get so excited to greet our guests and the trick or treaters. There was even a few years when we took her trick-or-treating to our neighbor who would give her dog treats. 

Another favorite thing our girl lived for was presents. Allie thought every single present was always for her. I mean, why wouldn’t they be, right? She would stick her nose in each bag at Christmas and find her specific gift immediately. It was the cutest thing to see! She shared her love for gifts with her dog-cousin Beau. They both loved receiving presents. It was so much fun to give them gifts and watch them get excited. I don’t know who found more joy in the process. Them or us. 

It never ceased to amaze me how intuitive she was. She knew what was coming next just by studying our routine. She knew if we were relaxing for the day or getting ready to leave. She became very loud when we told her key phrases like, “Do you want to go to Grandma and Grandpa’s?” or “Get your baby!” – she had a thing for giant stuffed animal toys. 

Allie’s eyes were always on me. Each day as I went busily through the house completing chores, I would look at her and she would be laying on the floor with her head resting peacefully but eyes locked on mine. She didn’t ever want to miss a thing! 

Aging Allie 

We had so many blessed times with our girl. Countless happy days and nights. Pictures captured her amazing personality and the years full of wonderful memories. 

As she began to age and show small signs of slowing down I purposed to pray and ask the Lord to give her a full, long life. I specifically asked that she would live at least until twelve years old. 

Her cadence slowed more and more as the fur around her eyes faded to white. She was still vibrate and full of joy – just a bit slower. 

When Allie-Bear was a little over 10 years old, we awakened one late September night to confusion and distress. Our girl was seizing. It was so difficult to helplessly watch. Then, another seizure came. And another. My husband Larry and I were sure this was it..she was leaving us. We didn’t know if there was much we could do but we rushed her to the emergency veterinary office. After 7 cluster seizures they sedated her enough to stop them. 

She made it through the night and we took her from there to her regular vet. He prescribed a medication and we hoped and prayed for a full recovery. It was about a week later that Allie did in fact fully recover. We considered it a miracle and thanked the Lord for giving her back to us. 

From that night of her seizures going forward, I would kneel down on the floor beside her bed every single night and pray over her before we fell asleep. She would roll over for scratches and nudge me with her nose when I would stop. I loved those sweet bedtime moments with her.

The Grief of Goodbye

Grief is the hardest part of love. We wouldn’t grieve if we didn’t love. Grief is the painful part that we all wish would disappear. However, in my experience, love is always worth the risk of pain. 

When we decide to take an animal into our home we know we will fall deeply in love with them, become attached on many levels, and allow them to infuse themselves into every part of our days and nights. We do this, knowing that they are not going to live forever. 

God knows their timing and each pet has a purpose. It is an honor to love them. When given a chance, I will choose to pour out love every time – even knowing that one day the grief will come. 

The grief came for us the week of July 1st 2023. It was the beginning of Allie’s last week on earth and as we helped her transition from this world to the next our hearts ripped and tore, as many tears fell. 

She began to loose all interest in food. Within 3 days (from July 1st to the 4th) she barely ate a thing. On the 4th of July we took her to a barbecue at one of her favorite places – Grandma & Grandpa Haley’s. She perked up a little bit that day and we could tell she was happy to be there however she refused most food, only taking a couple bite of steak. 

As we braced ourselves for the incredibly difficult decision we knew was coming, we put the word out to friends and family that she was fading quickly. 

Everyone wants the end of the life of their beloved pet to occur peacefully. I feel like we were blessed with that prayer answered. 

As we put the word out, Allie was surrounded by the immense love of many – who all cried with us and gave loving encouragement and strength. Allie’s fur was soaked with the tears of many who grieved with us those last few days. We felt saturated in love. 

We sat with her under her favorite crepe myrtle tree in the backyard that Saturday morning, both Larry and I too weary to speak. Allie rested her head on my leg and we just ached in silence as the tears freely fell. She was ready to go and we were grappling with knowing we had only a few hours remaining with our girl. As the last of our loved ones said their goodbyes and filtered through the house that morning, Larry and I sat alone with Allie telling her all about heaven. We had a special time with her before the vet we had found came out to our house to send her to heaven.

The tears cried were enough to fill an ocean. We knew one day this moment would come and loving her was worth the grief we felt in the difficult goodbye. 

Allie-Bear had finished her assignment by God and He called her home. On July 8th at 3:18 pm she heard Jesus give the whistle and she went running. 

She entered heaven. She was at peace. 

We then took her on one last drive over to Grandma and Grandpa Haley’s, where she was buried on their property. Her grandpa had prepared the most perfect spot for her final resting place – on a grass portion of their land where she used to run and play as a tiny puppy.

As we placed her in the ground and began to cover her with rich, dark soil, a beautiful yellow swallowtail butterfly began to fly over us. It swooped and fluttered, making circles around the grass area over and over until the task was complete. I knew it was a sign from God that Allie was at such peace. 

A Quiet Home

These last three months without our girl have been quiet, sad and felt oddly empty. It has been a big adjustment to train our mind to not look for her, call her name or expect to see her.

Although the goodbye was shattering in so many ways we feel The Lord provided incredible comfort, peace and provision.

Today as I write this it has been exactly three months since she ran to heaven. It has been an honor to love our sweet Allie Bear. We had her pure joy with us for 13 years, 4 months and 7 days. 

Since her passing, we have clung to these sweet reminders from the sovereign Word of God that she is in heaven with our blessed creator and one day we will see our girl again. 

Genesis 6:19

Psalms 36:6

Isaiah 11:6

Isaiah 65:25

Revelations 5:13

Revelations 21:5

I wanted to write this blog as a lasting tribute to the life and love of Allie, as she was something so very special and represented so much to us. She was more than a dog. She was a gift and a treasure. She helped to fill the ache in my heart and now she is in heaven where she can see all the goodness God still has in store for us.

Allie, you will live forever in our hearts and you will never be forgotten. The love you gave to us will remain forever. I know you are watching us from paradise and when we miss you we will sit under your white crepe myrtle tree in the backyard and remember your joy, gentleness and light – and the way your sweet fur smelled in the sunshine. Every time we see a yellow swallowtail butterfly we will know you are safe and happy. 

Thank you for giving all your love to us. You were truly the very best. 

Love, Mom & Dad